Human beings always think that they can run away. True, they can run away from people, they can run away from situations, from places.. but one aspect they can never hide.. they can never hide from God.

For the past six months.. I have been running.. not away from God.. or from a situation or something.. but rather..running in circles..not knowing what to do.. being frustrated and angry and puzzled.

For the past six months.. I asked God what is His plan for me? I tried to look for open doors but there were none..all I can do is sit and wait for God to reveal His will in my life at this point..

It has been really frustrating.. really annoying..really confusing and really...TESTING MY PATIENCE..being where I am at the moment.. and I do try to seek God..for that comfort..for that peace.. but most of the time, even when reading His word and seeking Him, my mind is distracted..my mind is so full of anger and frustration.

And then after that all, feel guilty that I am so unChrist like.. that I am still so angry inside, despite proclaiming to be a child of God. That I still harbour hatred despite saying that I am forgiving.. that I am still so full of pride..despite God trying to humble me...

Today, my mom brought me to Lighthouse Sanctuary where Pastor Joseph Tai from Nilai was giving a talk. I had gone for one of his retreats a few years ago, and I did get a breakthrough there.. so I was happy that Pastor Joseph was here...however I was not that anxious to go because one thing, I was afraid that there would be altar call..and I would have to go be prayed for etc etc yada yada yada... you see the devil is playing thoughts in my mind.. telling me to avoid seeking God and His word.. to not go for the talk....especially since it was to be in Mandarin..and I dont really understand it that well..

But I had already promised my mom and I didnt want her to be disappointed, so I went with her.

All was fine..I prayed, I listened to his talk, I understood, and I also witnessed fellow Christians receiving God's blessings of joy. At the end of the talk, we went into prayer and everyone was just with eyes closed and praying....

As I prayed in tongues.. I was justing thinking about the frustrations and anger in my life..and I was just praying and praying for God to help me through it..etc etc..and then I open my eyes and Pastor was praying for a guy.

I asked my mom "where did he come from?" and my mom shrugged.

Then after praying for that guy, Pastor looked around and then suddenly beckoned at me. Honestly I shrunk inside. I felt like running away.. or politely saying no. However, altho without a sound, his "command" was so authoritative that I just stood up and went to the front.

As I stood with arms lifted to receive what God had for me.. it was amazing that Pastor, who had been speaking and praying in Mandarin all this while.. somehow knew to pray in English for me...
As he prayed, I just could not help it but wet my eyes...

He prayed for God to take away the frustration I had been having for the past few months.. he prayed for God to remove it so that I could worship and pray that which is pleasing to Him.
He prayed for God to renew my faith.. to renew my strength..to renew my mind and to strengthen me.

Basically, Pastor Joseph took the words right out of my mouth. And bear in mind, I never said ONE single word of my needs to him.. He just knew. God knew.

Then I fell..and I could feel my body trembling..(altho my mom later said she didnt notice that).. and I was trembling and trembling and my eyes were twitching.. and my back was arched... and even as Pastor prayed for the others..it was like impact on me.. it made me tremble more.. arch more.. strain more...

And after a while, eyes still closed, I wonder "should I get up.. so embarrassed if I was the last"

And God spoke "No, I am not done with you"

And the trembling continued...until it suddenly just stopped..all just stopped and I was "normal" again.

I open my eyes..true enough I was the only one left on the floor. I got up and sat at my place.

When we went were saying goodbyes, Pastor said to me "you were really blessed tonight ya?" and I said "thank you Pastor..it was so accurate"..and he smiled :)

And I smiled :) because I know...like I have always known before...just more "enforced" in me now.. that everything will be alright.. because He (points up) knows. He has heard all those times I cried out...all those times I didnt cry out....all those times my heart silently screamed.... He knows :)

It's one thing to come to the US trying to find some particular items and also for shopping.. but it's another thing to just sit back and spend time with the people you love. Especially when it's Christmas eve here today. That was what we did today.

Winnie cooked Beef Noodles... yum yum excellent stuff...and all of us had it for lunch...

When the kids napped, we did go check out Macy's but didn't find anything suitable (was looking for denims and some working clothes) because the prices were quite high (esp after conversion!) so we decided to wait to check out the after Christmas sales.

So we went home and had some family time.

It's the 23rd in California today, altho my fellow friends in Malaysia would already be celebrating Christmas eve over in their time zone.


After the wonderful celebration, we hoped over to have some Malaysian/Singaporean food at this place called the Merlion. Check it out HERE.

The food was really really good (Thank you CY for buying it!) And authentic too.. I did take photo of the food... and well okay when we were waiting for the food, Carter and I fooled around with the beautiful mural behind us....
When the food finally arrived... we sat down like good boys and girls (hungry ones!) and enjoyed the delicious food which starting coming one after another. Check it out :





The children, despite their whining and crying and fighting... are gems... how can they not be.. look at these faces...




What a day... What a blessed day.. Thank you Lord.. for each and everyone of my family members...